social network for artists

Start a social network that is only open to musicians with profile, by invitation only. It could be used for collaborating, comparing notes, feeding back on new music, and educating musicians about causes.

Tazer Quest

numbered likes on Facebook

When you like something on Facebook, you should get a permanent badge saying what number liker you were, so if you were the first person to like the xx you can forever prove it and boast about it.

really bad art show

Fill the front of an art gallery with really bad art. Allow people to enter in small groups, all of whom know each other. Hidden cameras and microphones would record their reaction to the art. Then when they step behind a screen into a back room they would watch the film of their reactions being played back.

Zoopla plug in

Build a Zoopla plug in so you can enter your the home addresses of friends then keep an eye on the value of their properties and see them on a graph with those of other friends

rename all the areas surrounding Kennington, London as areas of Kennington

www.kenningtonrunoff.com

some things I think the UK government should do to save energy and carbon emissions

Put VAT on bottled and canned drinks and use the money to install drinking water fountains and get rid of standing charges on tap water.

Make energy companies pay to allow anyone to make their home energy systems controlled by internet/smart phone.

Increase air passenger duty on any journey that can be completed by train, and use the money to reduce the cost of train travel. This would also help solve London's airport capacity problem by reducing short haul flights.

Make it illegal for hotels to switch the air conditioning on in hotel rooms before the guest has arrived.

After The News

A column, or even a whole publication, following up what happened to news stories after they ceased to be news stories. The health scares that turned out not to be. The wrongly accused. What the politicians who resigned did next.

HBO torrenting

HBO should set up a Paypal account so people who've torrented their shows can make a donation. I'd donate.

length of time DVD kept at home

Lovefilm and other similar services should list the average length of time each film stays with the hirer before being returned. This would give an indication as to whether when the film arrives, the watcher still wants to watch it or leaves it sat around unwatched for some time.

If taxi drivers are caught driving dangerously or speeding (e.g. by a photo of the speedometer)...

the fare should be waived

Loyalty card exchange

A website where people could exchange loyalty cards. So if you change your place of work and now get your coffee from Costa rather than Caffe Nero you could swap your used royalty card for someone who'd made the opposite move.

Ice bowling

A new sport - a combination of ice skating and ten pin bowling

iTunes gifting

You should be able to make an iTunes playlist then pay for someone to receive it as a Christmas gift

IMDB for music

I think I've posted previously that record companies should collaborate and on a website that's a repository of all their label copy and credits for albums. A related question - why isn't there an IMDB equivalent for music?

energy prices fixed to wholesale prices

Energy companies should offer a tariff that is simply the wholesale price of electricity (or gas) plus a set percentage

Phish's albums vs ice cream

Someone should make an infographic of sales of Phish's albums in the UK vs sales of Phish Food ice cream

idea from my dad: wind turbines and pylons combined

People complain about wind turbines being an eyesore, and they complain about electricity pylons being an eyesore, so why not minimize the number of eyesores by building pylons with windmills on top?

Guestadvisor.net

A website where hotels review their guests

one track at a time on a computer

a plug in for computers that manages everything that's trying to play sound and only allows one track to play at a time to avoid the problem of different windows playing clashing sounds at the same time

Biodegradable compost bags

Bags for storing compost, which could be sealed but would quickly biodegrade. Thanks to my mum for this idea.

Catalogue of nightclubs

Compile a catalogue of nightclubs in the UK, featuring photos of the dancefloor, queue and toilets, plus Shazams of three tracks played at peak times on a Thursday, Friday and Saturday night.

Spirit level pool tables

A pool table with adjustable feet and spirit levels on each side so you can see when each side is level

Sun tan lotion at test matches

They have to start selling sun tan lotion at test matches or giving it away for free. All these red faces could cost the NHS a packet in time.

thermostats on kettles

kettles should come with a thermostat allowing them to automatically switch off at a variety of temperatures, not just boiling point

Funeral TV

drunken conversation transcription

A service for smartphones that records your drunken conversations, transcribes them, and sends them to you as text messages 140 characters at a time

MySingleFriend profiles

Start a business writing or rewriting MySingleFriend profiles for people

referee ratings

Referees' decisions in football should be assessed after the game to see which were right or wrong, then teams could see how may goals and points they gained or lost thanks to refereeing decisions

supermarket fruit

supermarkets should tell you not only which fruit are transported by plane and which are in season, but also which are grown under artificial light

hotel mattresses

When booking a hotel, allow guests to choose how firm their mattress should be

switching bank accounts

Introduce a standard set of dilligence procedures, after which anyone can move their money and bank account between banks at the press of a button

Album-only download store

Start a download store that only sells full albums with no cherry picking of individual tracks. The store might be able to sell albums that aren't available on iTunes like AC/DC's. It could also price albums low to encourage buying of full albums, and could have one week exclusives on big new releases.

water slides as fire escapes

allow public buildings to have a water slide instead of a staircase as one of their two fire escapes

Costcutter cook book

there should be a Costcutter cook book, with good recipes but no exotic ingredients - only stuff you could buy in any bog standard corner shop

charity supermarket website

there should be a website where you can pick exactly how your charity donation is spent

e.g. village in India requires £100 for clean water project faciliated by The Red Cross - if you pick that project it disappears from the website or appears as paid for by you, if you so choose

then you would be emailed further information when the project is up and running

negative political advertising

Ban negative political advertising

produce election posters saying "Vote for a hung parliament"

DVD release dates

DVDs should be released the same day as the film's cinema opening, but they should be sold exclusively at cinemas for the first few weeks

suggested by @mueslilover - an out-of-hours bank.

There should be a bank with branches open outside of 9.30am-4.30pm for people who don't have a branch near their work.

turning appliances off

By law, all electronic appliances should have an off button (most digiboxes don't) and also should switch off automatically when they're not used for a while

Ban adverts for medicine on US TV, and adverts for law firms representing people suffering side effects from medicine

The money saved could be used to provide health care for the uninsured
Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange

Webcams in old people's homes

Put webcams in old people's homes so their relatives can check they are being looked after

the sheet music-friendly version of the Kindle

should have a microphone so it can tell where you are in the piece and scroll the page automatically

fit a compass in cars

I expect some cars have a compass, but not any that I have owned

American Apparel band merch

American Apparel's online store should allow you to pay extra to have the logo of your favourite band printed on to any item of clothing

london places director

there should be a website called London Spaces which lists and organises all the different spaces for free or for hire in London - from the royal festival hall to the galleries that rent space, to HMS Invincible, to members clubs

keeping saltwater fish fresh a long way from the sea

catch them in nets then put them in a tank of saltwater and transport that tank inland so they can be sold or cooked or caught again straight from the saltwater tank

best before dates

Start a website detailing the possible consequences of consuming all kinds of goods after their best before date. Consumers could add their own experiences.

pilates balls that are also globes

make pilates/gym balls that double up as globes by having maps of the world on them

otherpeoplesarguments.com

start a website where you could listen to audio and video of other people's arguments

website of record and CD sleeves

all the record companies should pool the artwork and label copy for their music and put it all up on one website

cameras for replay at bowling lanes

Position cameras around ten pin bowling lanes so that after bowling, players can watch replays of their action from different angles to try and ascertain where they got it wrong or right

TripAdvisor t-shirts and badges

Get t-shirts and badges printed up saying "I contribute to TripAdvisor.com" which could be worn in a conspicous way when checking into hotels, to try and ensure good service.

The Problem Of Evil

The Problem Of Evil would be a good name for a band

teacups

Make plastic and card teacups with a little watertight pocket on the side in which to place the discarded teabag, rather than having to leave it on the table of a train or similar while drinking the tea

wedding rating website

start a website along the lines of London Eating where people can rate weddings they've been to and leave comments, anonymously if they choose

this idea is really cruel - sorry

you know how canned food lasts for years?

someone should sell a machine to enable people to can their own food at home

If they do, please send me the link

ethical shopping website

There should be a website where you can tick boxes according to which ethical causes you care about (Palestine, Burma, animal cruelty, arms dealing, selling baby food in Africa etc), and get a list of brands you should avoid

music recommendations by instant messenger

Someone like Rough Trade or Amazon should offer a service where you can have an instant messenger conversation with a real person to discuss your taste in music and get recommendations for further purchases

gallery of fake artworks

start a gallery containing accurate reproductions of all the world's most famous paintings

kitchens for hire

There should be kitchens and dining rooms available to hire in cities for people who want to hold dinner parties but don't have enough space in their own houses.

museum of conspiracy theories

Start a museum of conspiracy theories to explore the truth behind 9/11, the Kennedy assassinations, Pearl Harbour etc. Exhibits would be things like Richard Reid's shoes, or 9/11 wreckage supposedly containing traces of molten metal.

telephone translation service

there should be a number you can call similar to 118 118 or Texperts but available overseas, where you can call up and say "What's the Portugese for 'I haven't got any money'" or other bits of translation in a variety of languages

two ideas about time wasting at football matches

watching a cynical, boring and dirty Watford team use every tactic possible to waste time at the end of their 2-1 victory over Ipswich gave me two ideas about time wasting in football games:

1) for every occasion that a team is guilty of time wasting, a minute should automatically be added to the time left to play

2) when football is showing on the TV, there should be two clocks - one counting from 0 minutes to 90 minutes as normal, and another starting at 90 minutes and counting down to zero that is stopped every time play is stopped, so viewers can see how much time should be left to play after the 90 minutes are complete

you know when you're watching a gig and the performer says "can I get a bit more vocal in the monitor"?

why don't they just have a mixing desk for the monitors onstage so they can change it themselves?

or a little console where they can press a button saying "more vocal in monitors" so the sound engineer gets the message without the gig having to be interrupted?

Prizes awarded by panels

When prizes are awarded by panels of people like the Booker Prize or the Mercury Music Prize, the deliberations of the panel should be televised or at least webcast

transcripts of trials online

This thought came to me when I read about some of the things Jacob Zuma is supposed to have said in his trial for rape (he was acquitted). Knowing how the media works, I'd like to see those kinds of quotes in context, with my own eyes. There should be a website where you can download transcripts (or video where available) from such trials. In fact the BBC website should do this.

recipe books in supermarkets

Supermarkets should have reference copies of top selling recipe books on display by the fruit and veg. So if you had "Cook with Jamie" at home and wanted to make a recipe from it, you could check the reference copy in the supermarket to see what ingredients you needed to buy.

second hand CDs and DVDs

a charity such as Oxfam should set up an Amazon-style online store for second hand CDs and DVDs where everything costs £1 with £1 P&P. Lots of people are looking for somewhere to get rid of their CDs and DVDs at the moment, and many people wanting to buy a CD or DVD would make this their first port of call.

half time at the football

Football managers should send a text message to their team's fans in the ground during half time telling them what their team needs to do in the second half and urging them to make a lot of noise in support

back loading fridges

Make back-loading fridges for pubs and shops, so that the cans and bottles taken from the front for customers are the coldest rather than the warmest

crispy seaweed

Sell Chinese-style crispy seaweed in packets, like crisps (if someone is already doing this, please let me know as I'd like to buy some)

car speed limits

Put a limiter on cars sold or registered in the UK so they can't go over 70 MPH.

This would improve road safety and reduce petrol consumption.

about Joe's random ideas

a blog where I post my occasional random ideas. Comments welcome.